Tax time is a great time to do everything else

Jennie McNulty columnBY JENNIE MCNULTY

As time goes by … that was great song, by the way. Did you know it was written in 1931 for a Broadway play, “Everybody’s Welcome,” and its first verse included a reference to Albert Einstein and time as a fourth dimension? When it was used in the movie “Casablanca,” the film that made the song famous, they removed that first verse. I guess they thought of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, they wouldn’t be talking about the time-space continuum at Casablanca. In fact, almost all subsequent recordings of the song removed that first verse.

Anyway, as I was saying, as time goes by, you see patterns develop in your life. For example, I notice that my house gets remarkably clean this time of year. Maybe it’s spring and the need for a new start. Closets organized, yard work done, CD collection alphabetized and individually dusted. Right around now, I make Martha Stewart look like a lazy Beverly Hills housewife. Oh, that reminds me, I should probably alphabetize the spice rack too for the four times a year I cook.

There just seems to be so much to do around this time of year. And, I find myself, unlike any other time, doing it all. Maybe Spring brings out the best in me. I’m normally a very successful procrastinator. One of the things I just finished yesterday was making the list of my New Year’s resolutions — for 2013.

I’ve spent several hours researching this phenomenon. It turns out I’m not alone. In fact, I bet some of you reading this article right now are experiencing this very same thing. It’s why you’re reading this. It turns out we are avoiding a date. Not a “date, date,” a specific date. April 15th. Tax Day.

Every year I swear I’m going to keep current and organized all year long so it’s easy to do “next year.” And, every “next year,” I sit before a hundred stacks of receipts from shows all over the country. Well, actually, I don’t sit there long, I’ve got very important yard work to do. Those weeds won’t pick themselves, you know.

But the day is here. The bell must be answered. Uncle Sam needs his paperwork. Or, as I like to call it — my creative writing assignment. “Of course, the toilet paper’s deductible. I thought of a joke sitting there, didn’t I?”

So, my friends, the time has come. I must leave you now. No more time to research mildly interesting facts about movies. No more trying to take the cat for a walk. No more ironing my practice jersey. I have to file this damn thing. Because, if I don’t I’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon and for the rest of my life. (By the way, that’s another quote from Casablanca — look it up. I did.)

THAT’S IT! I must now sit down, in front of that pile of papers and forms and receipts and just do it. Just pick up that pen and file … an extension.

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians. She can be heard weekly as co-host of LA Talk Radio‘s “Cathy Is In: The Cathy DeBuono Show.”

Leave a Reply

  • (will not be published)