News: Illinois strikes down anti-bullying law, May 25, 2012

The Illinois Senate turned down a bill that would have encouraged creation of anti-bullying programs in schools after state Sen. Kyle McCarter, in a monumental display of extrapolative and closed-minded thinking, argued that, “There are anti-bullying programs that have an agenda, to only protect one class of individuals. Some of these programs are very good. But there are programs throughout the United States that really have just a pro-homosexual agenda and nothing but that.”

In a move of which only Biff Tannen /a> and Johnny Lawrence would approve, McCarter and several of his fellow “Land of Lincoln” colleagues who opposed the measure cited the bill’s endorsement by Equality Illinois as evidence of its true nature and requested an addition to the bill that would allow students to opt out of offered anti-bullying programs or activities if such programs clashed with their personal or religious beliefs.

Good fences make good neighbors
Demonstrators will be gathering Sunday morning, May 27, in Newton, North Carolina to denounce Baptist minister Charles Worley, the pastor who gained notoriety for his repulsively innovative remarks in regard to eliminating the “homosexual problem” during a May 13 sermon at his Providence Road Baptist Church. 

Having learned nothing from others whose own colossal acts of stupidity had been caught on video and subsequently posted on YouTube, Worley suggested, “Build a great big large fence 50 or 100 miles long. Put all the lesbians in there. Fly over and drop some food. Do the same thing with the queers and homosexuals.  Have that fence electrified so they can’t get out. You know what? In a few years, they’ll die out. You know why? They can’t reproduce.”

Calls to Worley remained unreturned at press time. As such, we are left to ponder the unanswered questions associated with his Hitler-esque blueprint for gay and lesbian eradication: 1) as a cost-saving measure, could the the fence somehow link up with the one already proposed for deterring illegal alien migration; 2) how many church bake sales will be needed to cover the increased electrical costs associated with the fence; 3) was Rick Santorum inspirational in any way in developing this diabolic concept; and 4) will there be a swimming pool inside the fence and, if so, will it have a swim-up bar?

What happens in the kitchen doesn’t stay in the kitchen
Just days after “Chopped” host and former “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” cast member Ted Allen’s SiriusXM radio interview in which he hinted at fellow Food Network host Anne Burrell’s sexual orientation, Burrell’s rep reported that, “Anne doesn’t feel she was outed. She has made no secret of her relationship. Her significant other is a very private woman. They have been together for a couple of years and spend a lot of time together. It is no secret in the culinary world.”

Allen had shared, “I’m not going to put a label on Anne, but she is dating a woman right now.” An anonymous individual later familiarized Allen with the colloquialism, “If it walks like a duck…”

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