Five ways to end lesbian bed death


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First off, lesbian bed death is nothing to be ashamed of and it doesn’t mean that you’ll never have sex again! It DOESN’T mean the love in your relationship is gone and you have to start dating again. It is just that things between you and your partner have cooled down a little recently or that one of you has a lower libido right now.

Remember, lesbian bed death is not as “lesbian” as it sounds. It doesn’t happen only in lesbian relationships, but with all kinds of couple.

Lesbian bed death is also not a permanent state. You can revive your sex life. Here are our top tips for putting the bang back into your bedroom.


If the reason you don’t feel like getting busy between the sheets is that you just don’t feel sexy, then dress for success. Do or wear something that gives you confidence. If you were going into a job interview, you’d be dressed for the part, right? Treat the bedroom like the boardroom and wear something that makes you feel in control.

If it’s your partner who’s not feeling good about her body, remind her how much she turns you on and how good your connection is.


Life is always going to be busy, but remember to make time to be intimate, even if it’s making out before work. That’s a great start to your day. Put aside five minutes, just five minutes during your day to hold each other, kiss and be in physical contact. It’s a baby step that you can build on.


You’d think this was a given, but so many couples forget that their partner isn’t a mind reader. If you’re experiencing a low sex drive or just don’t want to be physical, talk to your partner. Your actions will affect her too. Try to reconnect verbally before you try to reconnect physically. You may find that by talking, you could solve whatever issues are between you and that your partner is feeling something you had no idea about. However, we’d suggest to avoid the words lesbian, bed and death.


You or your partner might not have the kind of job where you can take personal calls, so text messages are a great way of sending a love note to your partner. Sending a romantic message every single day might take the surprise out of them. Once a week, take a minute to tell her how her smile lights up the room or that you just can’t wait to see her later. A poem wouldn’t hurt. Feeling loved and knowing that your partner is thinking about you when you’re not together is a big aphrodisiac.


If the reason you and your partner don’t want to be intimate is because sex has just become boring, it couldn’t hurt to introduce a new toy into the mix. Or even trying a new sexual activity. It’s exciting to explore something new with a partner, even if you both decide it’s not for you, at least you tried and you’ve opened the subject for discussion again. Try looking up some lesbian erotica or tips to spice up your lesbian relationship.

Dattch — The Lesbian App is out for iOS and Android. Loved by, AfterEllen and Autostraddle, we are the social platform for all things gay. Free download!

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