A big lesbian crush on Steven Colbert

Jennie McNulty columnBY JENNIE MCNULTY

I heard a story on NPR the other day. Keep reading, I know sometimes excruciatingly pompous things follow that sentence but, please, read on.

The story was about all the new classifications for people on dating sites. “Sapiosexual” was the one that stuck out. That is the term for people who are attracted to people based on a high level of intelligence. I’m definitely one of those (Stay with me). I’m not saying I am smart, I’m saying I’m attracted to people with smarts. So I guess I’m a lesbo-sapiosexual.

And, this brainiac-lover is incredibly sad today. As I write this on Thursday, December 18, 2014, Stephen Colbert is preparing to take to the TV one last time as his incredibly wonderful ultra-conservative character self. I love that guy. I’m not saying I’d go straight for him, but, gun-to-the-head, I’d take him over just about anyone except maybe Brad Pitt. With Pitt, you’re one degree away from Angie.

Stephen Colbert makes you laugh, makes you think and makes you wonder, just how much shit DOES this guy know?! A few weeks ago when he prefaced a question with a passing joke about paraphrasing the bible and, his guest John McCain, condescendingly tried to call him out by saying, “I’m not sure WHERE in the Bible that phrase is.”

Colbert, without missing a beat, succinctly, rapidly and very matter of factly, told the verse and then repeated his question.

According to a guest who was in one of the “Hobbit” movies, Colbert, while on the set for his cameo in the movie, “out-Tolkiened” the film-hired Tolkien expert in a spontaneous geek off. Facts from the “Iliad” and other mythologies, midevil history, all things pope, you name it, he knows it. And, his instantaneous recall on seemingly everything, in the middle of an interview, all while keeping in character, astounds me.

Many people feel he won’t do well when he takes over “The Late Show” next spring. He won’t be that right wing, ultra conservative character, we’ve come to love on “The Colbert Report” and it won’t be the same.

I think they’re wrong. This dude has had words put in the dictionary (“Truthiness”), testified before congress (on immigrant farm workers) and won a Peabody for his stories on Super PACs (by creating one that raised over a million dollars that also helped illustrate the ridiculousness of “Citizens United”). He will have no trouble finding a new way to make us laugh, enlighten us and call attention to the absurdities in our world. And, now, he won’t have to funnel his creativity through his Bill O’Reilly-esque blow hard character.

He will take “The Late Show” to new heights. Have you ever seen his speech at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner in 2006? In character, in front of both Bush presidents and just about every other big wig in D.C., he satirically skewered the White House, much to the chagrin of most of those present. Apparently, the dude that hired him never watched the show or else he didn’t like his job. See for yourself. Pretty darn ballsy.

Fear not, members of the Colbert Nation, our leader will be back. As funny as ever and ready to turn on a whole new batch of sapiosexuals. And that’s, “The Word.”

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians. She can be heard weekly as co-host of LA Talk Radio‘s “Cathy Is In: The Cathy DeBuono Show.”

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