Team Dattch, the lesbian app
At some point in your life, you will have to go on a first date.
The usual story goes:
“You snogged a beautiful girl in a club the night before, but were probably too drunk to consider waking up with a stranger in your bed OR knew you’d have a hangover meltdown trying to get home from hers. Regardless, you’ve woken up to a text from her asking how you are, and you don’t think she seems like the Jenny Schecter type. A few texts later and you’ve agreed to meet in the cold, sober light of day. It’s first date time.”
Wherever you met them, the first date is possibly the most nerve-wracking of them all. Well, that and the “third” date when you need to do a bit of lady garden maintenance because you’ll be getting down, or should I say going down on your lady of choice.
My sister gave me one piece of advice about first dates: “Never carry on dating a person who wears bad shoes. It usually means they’re either bad in bed and if you don’t like their shoes, what else are you not going to like about them?”
My own good first dates (who wore good shoes) have resulted in ex-girlfriends, amazing sex (WHAT?! We had chemistry and booze) and friendships with some pretty awesome ladies. The bad first dates included taking a girl who didn’t like heights on a Ferris wheel, and having to wait 40 minutes for a dinner date who then decided to comment on how much the refried beans we were eating as a starter looked like poo. No joke. She, coincidentally, wore shoes I was not a fan of.
First date woes are inevitable. We’ve all been on excruciatingly bad ones, but I’ve not yet written off my life to being a crazy cat lady just yet. Activity dates are fun and, if you end up having not that much in common, you can immerse yourself in learning something new. The zoo is one place on my list, finding out someone’s favorite animal (besides unicorns) can tell you a lot about them. And if they don’t love the baby animals, MOVE ON!!
First dates are a bit Disney in one sense as you have to take chances with the frogs. But, in doing so, you may just end up finding your fairy tale princess who’s just as hot as Ariel in both mermaid and leggy form. And remember no bad shoes. Seriously, it’s a bad sign.
Dattch The Lesbian App is out for iOS and Android. Loved by Lesbian.com, AfterEllen and Autostraddle, we are the social platform for all things gay. Free download!