Any queer elder will tell you that before the internet, it was much more difficult for queer people to meet. Finding community was, and still is, an important part of every queer person’s life.
Nowadays, if you live in a city, chances are there is an established LGBTQ+ scene for you to explore, allowing you to meet other lesbians. And if not, there are still multiple ways of connecting with your community online. Continue reading for tips on where to meet queer people in real life and on the internet.
Queer Nightlife
Rising costs of running a business, coupled with the damaging effects of the COVID-19 pandemic have led to an increase in LGBTQ+ venue closures. The number of lesbian bars and clubs around the world was already limited, with London (UK) having just one lesbian bar: SHE Soho.
Mixed queer venues tend to cater towards a male audience, leading women and non-binary people to feel unwelcome. In response to this, club nights have been created.
Considering the above, recurring club nights and events have gained popularity for being more selective with admission and more specifically catering towards subgroups of the LGBTQ+ community who need safe spaces to connect. Such nights include Papi Juice in Brooklyn (NY), created to “celebrate the lives of queer and trans people of color”. In London (UK), LICK hosts events by women for women. Recurring parties do pose one problem, though – they’re not exactly suitable for a spontaneous night out.
While nightlife events are great for gathering with friends and meeting new people, there is an important need for sober spaces and activities.
Sober Queer Spaces
Queer-owned cafès, libraries, and stores facilitate connections in a more relaxed and quiet environment. It’s worth mentioning that some of these may serve alcohol, but as one of many options, and in a context that doesn’t center around drinking.
Examples include Glass House, a multidisciplinary venue in London (UK) featuring a cafè, book store, and bar; hosting a variety of social events. In Los Angeles (CA), Cuties exists as an alcohol-free queer-owned cafè. London (UK) is also home to Gay’s The Word, a pioneering LGBTQ+ bookshop established in 1979. Moments of its fascinating history are referenced in the 2014 film “Pride”.
Cultural Events
From stage plays to drag king nights at the local bar, queer cultural events tend to attract a mixed audience, including queer women. Depending on the theme and content, some of those will be more aimed towards a lesbian audience.
Soho Theatre in London (UK) is one such location, hosting theatre, comedy, cabaret shows and more. Earlier this year at Soho Theatre, The LOL Word (a collective of queer women, trans and non-binary people) ran a series of “epically-gay” stand-up shows.
Social & Sporting Clubs
After a quick internet search, chances are you will find local social & sporting groups that you can join. Some groups act as LGBTQ+ networks. A few examples are Queer Culture Club, a collective for queer women, trans and non-binary people, and Queer the Table, a supper club for “girls, gays and theys”.
Some are created based on shared hobbies or interests. MISERY is a mental health collective and sober night club in London (UK), hosting a variety of socials. Queerspace FC is a London-based (UK) sports club, described as “your local friendly queer kickabout”.
Online
Most connections begin online, from friendships to romantic relationships.
There are several ways of meeting people online (regardless of your intentions), from social media to lesbian chat websites and dating apps for queer women.
Dating apps aren’t just for dating — many people join to make new friends, network, or just have a chat when they feel like it. Build out your profile, make your intentions clear and add your personality to be matched with the right people.
On social networks, communities exist in the shape of groups and pages, for various purposes; from housing to clothes swapping and meeting new people.
Start Finding Your People
Begin your search online. Find queer events on websites like Eventbrite and OutSavvy, and apps like DICE. Social media pages such as the Hey Queer London Instagram showcase events taking place in the capital.
Facebook is a great tool for finding event listings, as well as LGBTQ+ groups you can join. Have a look on Meetup as well for groups like Queers Without Beers, who host socials for people who wish to moderate their drinking or are alcohol-free.
