Lesbians getting engaged: Who should propose?


Dear Kirsten,

We’re two women in love, and we want to get married. We each want to surprise the other with a ring and ask the question. If this were a straight relationship, I guess the guy would propose to the girl. Neither of us is a guy, so how do we do this? Whoever goes first gets to be the one who does the surprise, and then what’s the point of the second person doing anything? Is there a solution we’re not thinking of? Has anyone else come up with a workable idea? How have other same-sex couples become engaged, if both wanted to do the asking? — Confused On One Knee

Dear Confused,

Let’s think of this like surprising each other with an invitation to go on a date. Both invitations are equally special, though who does it first might be considered the braver or more prepared of the two — as well as the one who’s story is told first when people ask to hear your engagement story.

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