Ask the Femme: I love my girlfriend, but I hate her cooking!


Dear Femme

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over a year and everything is going really well. We moved in together a few months ago and it’s been great to live with my best friend and come home to her everyday. And I do come home to her, I work a little bit later than she does, so by the time i get home, she has dinner waiting for me. And that’s so nice and I’m so lucky. But the problem is that dinner is always terrible. It’s just so bad, I would rather just microwave leftovers or get takeout than eat it. I don’t understand what she does to it. She thinks she’s a really good cook and I don’t want to burst her bubble. 

How can I tell her her cooking is terrible without ruining our relationship? I’m afraid she will be hurt and resent me and I would do anything to avoid hurting her feelings, or putting our relationship in jeopardy. Please help. 

Hungry in Ohio

Dear Hungry,

Of all the problems in the world, this isn’t a bad problem to have. If you and your girlfriend have as strong of a relationship as it sounds, you should be able to talk to her about this. Talking to her about this small problem is really good practice for when you have to talk about the more important problems that will crop up if you end up spending your entire lives together.

Maybe say something like, “I really appreciate it when you make dinner for me, it’s so nice to come home to that after a long day at work. But, sometimes the food you make is too ___” Insert whatever adjective you need too. I kind of want to know how she ruins this food. Is it too salty? Burnt to a crisp? Does she put ketchup on everything?

You could also say something like, “This food needs a little something, I really like kale with garlic not kale with ketchup.” Or whatever it is she’s doing. Eventually she will start taking notice of what you like and don’t like, and incorporating that into the meals she cooks.

If you’re too scared to address the problem directly, there are more subtle steps you can take. You guys can take a cooking class together and maybe she can incorporate some of the lessons learned into her dinner repertoire. You could watch some Food Network shows together and try to recreate the recipes. Or even find some recipes you like and send them over to her to make for dinner. Give her a back rub for being so accommodating to your cravings.

Good luck, Hungry! Let us know how it goes.

Have a question for me? Email me at

About the Artist: Lee Ely is a Brooklyn based illustrator. For more about Lee visit, follow on Instagram @latewerks, like on Facebook and purchase their work at

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