Homophones for homophobes


In one of the most irony-filled stories to make the rounds in a long while, a social media specialist in Utah was fired for a blog he wrote about homophones.

For those unfamiliar with the term, homophones are words that sound alike, but which are spelled differently. Think of “sell” and “cell;” “sleigh” and “slay;” “two,” “too” and “to.” Clearly, a homophone has nothing to do with one’s sexuality – a fact that appears to have escaped Clarke Woodger when he fired Tim Torkildson for a blog the latter wrote on the topic.

So where’s the irony, you ask? Well, Woodger just happens to be the owner of Nomen Global Language Center, an English language learning center based in Provo. One might assume that the owner of an institution which charges a fee to students to whom it purports to instill the basics of the English language would actually know the basics of the English language. That’s ironic point #1 (and I’m hoping all you Nomen students saved your receipts).

For ironic point #2, we have the fact that in his you’ll-no-longer-be-working-here announcement to Torkildson, Woodger complained, “Now our school is going to be associated with homosexuality.”

Now I may be wrong about this, but I’m guessing that we’d not be hearing about this story, nor would Newsweek and other major news outlets be reporting about it, if Woodger hadn’t terminated Torkildson.

So congratulations Clarke Woodger of the Nomen Global Language Center. Through both your ignorance and homophobia, you, not Mr. Torkildson, managed to ensure that your school (using the term ever so loosely) will, indeed, forever be associated with homosexuality. Don’t believe it? Just try Google-ing “Nomen Global Language Center.”

Now I’m wondering if someone should attempt to explain dangling participles to Mr. Woodger before he again embarrasses himself in a similarly unfortunate event.

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