Five tips for a sexy campout

Camping outBY NIA PERSON

Trying to “shush it” when having sex is a reality for many people living in larger cities. With rent rising while apartment sizes shrink, it’s time to explore the outdoors. Not only will you get amazing views, your roommates also don’t have to hear you scream “Yatzee!” (or whatever else you may scream).

No. 1: Keep an eye out
It’s fun, adventurous, and super sexy, but not if you happen to land in a bed of poison oak, or ivy, or on a hornets’ nest. It’s okay to let that kind of nerdy side come out and play Captain Safety. You both will be glad when the scintillating romp doesn’t get interrupted by brambles, bites, or rashes.

No. 2: When setting up a tent, find the flattest spot you can
The ground gradient is easily overlooked, but once you get down to business the importance of it will show through. From sailing sleeping pads to quirky footing, it’s all easily avoided by spending an extra couple of minutes looking for the best spot.

No. 3: Nitrile gloves are your friend
If you don’t want to risk having to deal with either one of you having BV, grab a good handful of nitrile gloves to bring with you. Shoot, just keep a few pairs in all of your camping backpacks! One of the biggest culprits of the corrupted PH levels are all of the grimy bits under the fingernails. Popping on nitrile gloves will keep you in the moment and keep those pesky worries out of your head.

No. 4: Bring lube!
Either coconut oil or whatever else you use at home. Too much is almost enough, especially if you’re using gloves or toys. It may seem like an unnecessary afterthought, but put it closer to the top of your list. If it’s the possible messiness that has you wanting to forgo the lube, just bring some baby wipes for easy clean up.

No. 5: Don’t get eaten by bears, too
DON’T leave the lube in your tent after you’re done loving up your lady. Bears don’t care if you are leaving tomorrow and this is your last night. Sling up the possibly sweet-smelling creamy goodness in your bear bag or put it back in the car, unless you feel like waking up to a bear way too close for comfort.

Nia Person has been interested in how people fit together since the first time she realized that the word “sex” can mean a plethora of different things to different people. TMI? There’s no such thing — her ears perk up whenever there is a relationship or life mystery to be solved. Nia is SFSI certified sex geek and is shooting Cupid’s arrows as a matchmaker at Tawkify. Nia is currently living in the loveliest of menageries in Oakland, California. Send questions to

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