Becoming Captain Snorkel~Diddie


I distinctly remember the day my Aunt pushed me into a crashing wave on the shores of San Diego to “remedy” my intense fear of the ocean. I was 4 years old, and my very young parents had just been divorced. My mom took custody of my little sister and me, and joined the Air Force in her best effort to take care of us. Unfortunately, it meant that I had to stay with my relatives while she endured boot camp. Of course, I misunderstood and thought my mom had left me. I was devastated and began to develop a fear of practically everything in the midst of this separation anxiety.

The ocean, in it’s mysterious, overwhelming power, terrified me. Needless to say, my Aunt’s push didn’t help. It only led to my choking down what seemed like a gallon of salt water in between panic-stricken sobs that would later have my little face purple with broken blood vessels. I felt betrayed by my family and violated by the Mother Sea. Lost in my own abyss of hurt, I carried this insult with me for way too long. It took many years of troubled living to sort out my messy pile of resentments. Like waves of the ocean, hard lessons would come crashing into my world as I chose to act from fear instead of love. Miraculously, a breaking point occurred in 2000. My first step was made toward true healing as I entered sobriety.

I had a badass of a spiritual mentor who put me on a fast-track plan of brave actions. She insisted that I learn how to swim- literally. Desperate to feel better, I followed her directions with vigor. Every day, for several months, I took to the shallow lane at the YMCA. To my surprise, I became a fairlydecent swimmer. My inner mermaid was ignited!

Continue reading “Becoming Captain Snorkel~Diddie” at

Traci Dinwiddie is an actress, yogini, West African drummer, part-time badass and full time fruitcake. Learn more about the “Elena Undone” star by visiting

5 Responses to “Becoming Captain Snorkel~Diddie”

  1. Janet LIss

    For those of us who still battle with taking the path of fear, you, as always, are an ongoing source of inspiration.

    Thank you once again.

  2. Jade

    Very powerful.
    So glad you were able to..quote Courtney Love, (“Live)Swim through this”.

    Sobriety in itself is something to be proud of everyday; however, the deeper one goes, and the more one uncovers and works on, the richer life becomes.

    Not many people are capable of or willing to do the hard daily work. Even though we have never met; on a very simple level, I see and feel the work that you are willing to do each day to move forward, “lean into life” and accept each day as it comes, making it your very own. Thank you Traci. Be well. Jade

  3. Jamie Beiler

    You are a true inspiration to those who are fortunate to interact with you!

  4. Amélia Costa

    Ms. Traci you are a Divine Person, Great Human, Good Friend! For me was a pleasure “meet” You!
    This article are superb 🙂

  5. Barbara Glynn

    Traci, I continue to be impressed with how you live your life…..meeting it head on and always, it seems, with joy, humor and love. You are so gifted in that you can act, sing, dance, perform on the trapeze, speak on a tele-summit and now snorkel, but it is the love and feeling you have for others that sets you apart. You are sensitive and giving and I think that is what most us find so compelling. Thank you for the inspiration that you are to us and many blessings to you.


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