Ancient last minute shopping secret: Myrrh

Jennie McNulty columnBY JENNIE MCNULTY

Do you need a fabulous last minute gift idea? Well, I’ve got the perfect one for you. Myrrh.

That’s right, myrrh. The stuff the third wise guy brought for Jesus’ birthday party. As in gold, frankincense and …

If you don’t even know what the hell myrrh is, you’re not alone. Most people don’t.

They know it’s the third gift in the story, which is why it’s the perfect, last minute gift. For all they know, it could be as valuable as gold and, most likely, no one else will have gotten it for them.

Myrrh, according to Wikipedia (so, it must be true), “ is the aromatic resin of a number of small, thorny tree species of the genus Commiphora, which is an essential oil termed an oleoresin. Myrrh resin is a natural gum. It has been used throughout history as a perfume, incense and medicine. It can also be ingested by mixing it with wine.”

You can mix it with wine? I like it already.

In Chinese medicine, it’s been used for heart, liver and other blood related issues. So, you got post-menopausal pals? Bring on the myrrh.

“Hey Sally, here’s a little myrrh, it’ll help with the hormones. It’s why the kings brought it to Mary.”

How thoughtful, right? True? Maybe not, but isn’t it the thought that counts?

In ancient Egypt, they used it in mummification. Can you say skin treatment? “Honey, really, quit putting poison in your face, Myrrh is the new Botox. It’s why the kings brought it to Mary. Dry desert travel can be so aging.”

In scientific testing in mice, myrrh was shown to have pain reducing properties.

“Betty, this will totally cure your back aches. It’s why the kings brought it to Mary. Childbirth in a stable? Oww!”

There’s a long list of uses for myrrh from tumor reduction to toothpaste, so it’s perfect for any friend. Just come up with a reason and for less than five bucks you can give the gift of the wise.

Hey, anyone can give gold, right? But you, you really care. And, isn’t that really why the kings brought it to Mary?

Stay tuned for my next blog on how to get back the friends you lost at Christmas.

Jennie McNulty was named one of Curve magazine’s Top 10 lesbian comedians. She can be heard weekly as co-host of LA Talk Radio‘s “Cathy Is In: The Cathy DeBuono Show.”

Leave a Reply

  • (will not be published)