BY GENA HYMOWECH
When you are at a singles event, you may develop what I like to call “dating tunnel vision.” You are at the event to find a date, so you don’t want to talk to anyone who you aren’t attracted to. You don’t want to talk to anyone who isn’t a potential soul mate.
The problem with that little philosophy is that you miss out on meeting a lot of great people—people who could be really cool friends if you only let them in to your heart. “But I already have a bunch of friends,” you say. “Why do I need more?” Here are just a few reasons why you should collect as many friends as you possibly can:
Old friends get coupled up.
You may have a group of cool lesbian single pals, but after a few years on the dating scene, they become cool lesbian couples, and you feel like the odd woman out. That’s the time you need to bring some fresh single blood in—some new single friends to go out to bars and dating events with, and to complain to when the single life sucks (as it so often does). Having single friends also reminds you that you’re not the last single lesbian left on earth.
Friends can introduce you to other friends.
One of the easiest and most likely ways to meet your next girlfriend is to meet her through a good friend. When you bring some new friends into your life, you are also bringing in all of their friends into your life as well. In other words, you’ve just quadrupled your social circle, instantly. Of course, you should return the favor by introducing your new friend to anyone in your social orbit.
Friends sometimes become lovers.
When you make a new friend, don’t be surprised if she eventually becomes something more. That’s because the more you get to know someone, the more their personality colors the way you look at them, causing you to perceive them as more attractive. I speak from experience here: This has happened to me more than once. And what better basis for romance than a good friendship? When you begin a romance as friends, you get to know a person more completely at first, rather than allowing your hormones to be overcome by lust, and possibly regretting your decision later.
Friends can sometimes fill a relationship hole.
Now, don’t take that in a dirty way. What I mean is when you’re single, you get depressed because you feel like you can’t go out on dates or take vacations or do a lot of fun things that couples get to do together. But why not go on friend vacations or friend dates? Friendship can help fill the relationship hole until you have a real relationship again.
Friends can help you in other areas of life, too.
If you’re looking for a new apartment or a new job, friends can come in handy, referring you to your next apartment or gig. Better than looking on craigslist, no?