BY SHANNON CIRCE
I keep saying I’m going to start a blog. From the time Blake, now three, was a baby, I’ve wanted to record and remember the little discoveries that excite him, and the ways that he makes even strangers smile. And then suddenly, 20 months later, Terry was born.
It finally hit me that I really SHOULD have written something about those moments, because seeing a new face react and new hands explore the world, I slowly forgot when and how Blake did those things. I’ve always wanted to write something for them. To look back and have records of the moments that mattered most to us, even though they wouldn’t remember them. And for my wife, Michelle, to be able to look into the moments she had to miss while busy at work. These moments are precious, but the details are too quickly forgotten.
But this blog is different. It’s more for me, and you, to explore parenthood. A rare moment in the life of a mother, but this moment, is about us. Moms. Parents.
One thing I can promise, is that I am no expert. I will never claim to be a perfect mother, or even to know the best way to do something. I won’t claim to know the best recipes that’ll have your kids BEGGING for more. I won’t talk about Pinterest projects that my kids make perfectly, because, A. Pinterest? and B. an organized project? I don’t pretend to have it all together, and I never will. If you look at our home, you’ll see that’s true.
I also don’t claim to be an English scholar with a knack for writing and analyzing. On the contrary, I’ve studied Spanish Linguistics and am just as comfortable writing about all of this in Spanish. What I want to share, and hopefully learn about parenting, is all about heart. Surely, my brain can’t keep up with that most days after chasing two toddlers in different directions.
I am, however, a mom who likes to talk about my kids, my wife and our growing family.
I love to share ideas and stories with other parents. I find so much strength in the bonds I create with close friends who are also parents, experiencing the same challenges and successes of raising children. And being a lesbian, and how damn hard we had to work, or how much money we had to spend to make our families grow. We, lesbian moms, are fascinating and strong, with many stories and journeys behind the creation of our families. All same sex parents I have ever met,because we have to work to create a family, have admirable love and strength at the core of parenting. We don’t necessarily have more, or worse challenges than other parents, but they are unique.
Most days, I don’t feel any different than any other mom. The things I talk about with friends and ask advice about are the same issues all parents have when raising toddlers. On the other hand, we all have days, the frustrating days, where we are faced with the questions that point out the differences in our families.
“Your husband must have that dark curly hair”- pointing to Blake. Try again. Yes, our donor has dark curly hair. Want to see a picture? Oh, the things I wish I had said.
“Are you going to tell your children you used donor sperm?” Really? No, they’ll never know, right? We can hide it forever. UGH. Of course we’ll tell them.
I don’t mind at all the personal questions. How did we conceive the boys, who carried them, did we know the donor, etc. Those are things we are proud of, and will talk about on and on, so that our boys, too, will be proud of who they are and the story of our family.
Building a family has been a challenge, and the best decision we have ever made. It makes every day difficult, wonderful, tiring, exciting, defeating, and rewarding.
I bring this blog to you, other parents, or possibly future parents, as a place for love, laughs, and support in parenthood. This is my way of saying, “nice to meet you,” and “I’m glad you’re here.”
Please, take a seat and introduce yourself. Ask me anything. I look forward to what we may learn together.
Shannon lives in Rochester, New York, with her wife, Michelle, and two sons, Blake and Terry. She has been a full-time, stay-at-home mom for the last two years. Shannon and family enjoy traveling, rescuing dogs and cats, and tracking down trains, boats, garbage trucks or whatever the latest toddler fascination may be.