BY TRACI DINWIDDIE
I know we’ve only just met, but I felt compelled to tell you that… I like you. I’m sure you hear this all of the time, but you’re gorgeous. I knew you were cool the moment I arrived and the only available car to rent was a Subaru. (And, only because all of the Prius were booked). I feel like I’ve met a kindred spirit. I don’t mean to be so forward, but your bicycle-friendly streets & bridges had me longing to explore your mountainous terrain. What a breath of fresh air you are! Literally.
Oh, how I like you. Let me count the ways…
You are sexy.
With a statue depicting a woman of strength and grace, perched upon the Portland building as a welcoming beacon, I must bow to you.
You make me laugh.
You gave us “Portlandia” the web series! I couldn’t resist driving by the “Feminist Bookstore,” In Other Words, where many hilarious episodes have been filmed. I’m going to tell you a secret. Please keep this between us. I got a little fan-girlie over coming across the set of “Portlandia” while stopping by Laughing Planet for my new favorite Thai Bowl. I would cartwheel across St. John’s Bridge if I could work on this web series for even one episode.
You smell good.
So many coffee houses. So little time.
Coffee House-Five, Barista, Stumptown = Yes.
Your Rose Garden made me blush. So much beauty.
And, Forest Park, with over 5,000 acres of forest for hiking & biking & play. I got my Zen fix walking through the Japanese Garden. How many gardens do you have, anyway? I know Multnomah Falls isn’t exactly your territory, but it’s such an easy visit. I hiked a mile up for a spectacular view of the Gorge and was back to you in twenty minutes.
You taste good.
Your food was delicious. You knocked my knee socks off with Veritable Quandary. I can’t remember the last time I had such an exciting, exquisite meal. Loved the patio seating, too. Tasty n Alder had a sweet, family vibe. The large tables with tons of small plate options was a sure friend-maker. And, Peteunia’s gluten-free, sugar-free bakery. Need I say “yum”? A true success story of food cart to full store-front. Although, I’ve always heard of you as having vegetarian-friendly restaurants, I did notice that many of your menus boasted of bacon. You even had a new restaurant called “Lardo“, which seems to be all about consuming bovine, swine, & beer. Not really my thing, but I won’t hold it against you.
You are so gay.
Happy and righteous hipster lesbians (being walked by their dogs) sporting Icebreaker, knee-high socks, Doc Martens or clogs. You hosted this year’s Women’s Lesbian Softball “World Series”. Delta Park had five softball fields packed with us. What a treat!
You’re feisty, diverse and smart. You know how to play.
From Roller Derby to the Portland Art Museum to a demonstration on the front walk of City Hall, your city is full of spunk, politics, and forward-thinkers. While strolling your Pearl District with the best Stumptown coffee in hand after a fine breakfast at Kenny & Zukes, my heart nearly skipped a beat on the intersection of 11th and Burnside St. There, I stood between Icebreaker store and Powell’s books. Add to that a nearby bike shop with its own espresso bar (West End Bikes). Is there anything you haven’t thought of? I was impressed with the Rose City Rollers, btw. Those gals give good game. And a teammate named JK Rolling? Brilliant! Insane!
You’ve got personality. Multiple personalities, in fact.
I should tell you a little about myself to make clear what an impression you’ve made upon me. I’m an artsy, outdoorsy, get-gussied-up & act classy type. It doesn’t always mix well, but with you it was a breeze. I was also pleased to know that no matter where I bedded down, you managed to impress me with your dynamic character.
*Funky, musical, & hip with a touch of scandalous: McMenamins Crystal Hotel
*Arsty, communal, & whimsical with a touch of eery: McMenamins Kennedy School
*Classy, upscale, intelligent, with a touch of modern: Hotel Modera
Please know that I don’t normally sleep around, but how can a gal really know her fit without a little experimentation?
I want more of you.
Rows of charming Tudor homes on Mississippi Ave. had me dreaming about a life with you. I promised myself that no matter how much I liked you I would not Uhaul it this time. But, I must admit I’m already planning my return. There is so much more of you to explore. I long to feel your fall and winter vibe. After all, I wouldn’t know you as Portland without a little rain, right?
Until we meet again… Thank you for the memories.