BY TRACI DINWIDDIE
I distinctly remember the day my Aunt pushed me into a crashing wave on the shores of San Diego to “remedy” my intense fear of the ocean. I was 4 years old, and my very young parents had just been divorced. My mom took custody of my little sister and me, and joined the Air Force in her best effort to take care of us. Unfortunately, it meant that I had to stay with my relatives while she endured boot camp. Of course, I misunderstood and thought my mom had left me. I was devastated and began to develop a fear of practically everything in the midst of this separation anxiety.
The ocean, in it’s mysterious, overwhelming power, terrified me. Needless to say, my Aunt’s push didn’t help. It only led to my choking down what seemed like a gallon of salt water in between panic-stricken sobs that would later have my little face purple with broken blood vessels. I felt betrayed by my family and violated by the Mother Sea. Lost in my own abyss of hurt, I carried this insult with me for way too long. It took many years of troubled living to sort out my messy pile of resentments. Like waves of the ocean, hard lessons would come crashing into my world as I chose to act from fear instead of love. Miraculously, a breaking point occurred in 2000. My first step was made toward true healing as I entered sobriety.
I had a badass of a spiritual mentor who put me on a fast-track plan of brave actions. She insisted that I learn how to swim- literally. Desperate to feel better, I followed her directions with vigor. Every day, for several months, I took to the shallow lane at the YMCA. To my surprise, I became a fairlydecent swimmer. My inner mermaid was ignited!
Continue reading “Becoming Captain Snorkel~Diddie” at TraciDinwiddie.com.
Traci Dinwiddie is an actress, yogini, West African drummer, part-time badass and full time fruitcake. Learn more about the “Elena Undone” star by visiting TraciDinwiddie.com.