BY NATASIA LANGFELDER
I do a lot of gay things. I read a ton of lesbian blogs, hit the dyke bars whenever I can and I’ve noticed a trend. There’s a lot of talk about “dyke drama” and “dramatic lesbians.”
On top of that, I do a lot of writing on the internet. As an advice columnist, I’ve been fielding drama online for years. Between advice column submissions and comments on articles that range from mild, “why are women so dramatic?” to the internalized homophobic, “why are all lesbians crazy?” It makes me wonder: Are lesbians more dramatic than straight women?
I would say no. I know I’m dramatic. But I blame this on my being a writer rather than the lesbian thing.
Here’s my theorem (fancy word, right?!) on why there is a lot of drama in the lesbian community: We all date each other. We aren’t crazier than any other group of people, but once hooking up and romantic emotions come into play, that’s going to lead to drama, no matter how mature people are at first.
Think of a large group of straight people of mixed genders who are friends. Like, remember when you went to college and your whole dorm floor became lovers and friends? Then by senior year everyone had dated everyone else and thank god you were all graduating because no one could stand looking at each others faces anymore?
Or, think of the TV show “Friends.” There were three straight men and three straight women and that fueled, like 10 years worth of drama. Lesbians start dealing with drama from the second we start dating until basically always! It never ends. Even after you are happily married you still have to wonder if the awesome new queer friend you made knows that you took her number because you want to be friends and not because you want to get in her pants. We are all going to end up in a queer nursing home together and the hot boi is still going to be throwing game at all old lady femmes and it’s going to cause drama. As long as there is the possibility of sex there will be drama and that goes for all genders and orientations.
My point is, there’s going to be just as much drama once sex and feelings get involved in any group of people. Lesbians aren’t inherently more dramatic. BUT it is harder to get away from the drama. The group from your college dorm probably dispersed after college. The world is smaller, they probably comment on each other’s Facebook statuses and meet up for drinks once in a blue.
For lesbians, it’s much harder to escape the source of the drama because if you are in the same city, chances are you are hanging out in the same places as all the other lezzies. So the drama doesn’t disperse like it does for other people. So complain about the drama all you want. But remember, if you were straight, the drama wouldn’t disappear.
So what do you think? Are lesbians more dramatic?